Randomly Kawtar

 With an emphasis on emotions, mental health, the beauty of nature and the little habits that make a life, RandomlyKawtar captures in words and photographs what it is to live, to grow, to believe and to love.

Today I miss a stranger...

WARNING AND SPOILER ALERT: what you`re about to read contains a terrific controversy as its writer is a walking controversy herself.

    It`s raining today and I miss a stranger.

     A person I met at a book shop with whom I conversed a couple of words while looking for a book, that was a year ago.

    I`m feeling nostalgic to the conversation we may have had as he sounded like an extremely interesting person. 

       My last friendship started two years ago so you can guess I kind of forgot how we`re supposed to introduce ourselves and all those casualties that make people go from strangeness to familiarity.

   But my humble experience taught me that there`s actually a long crooked way from strangeness to familiarity, not just an organic series of casualties.

       However,  sometimes I catch myself wondering what would it feel like to go on that journey again with someone new, to discover a new land, to taste a novel cocktail of fresh perspectives and bewildered dreams.

       I wonder what would it look like to witness the formation of a new fusion made by the contact of our auras.

       I wonder what parts of me can still be lit up and discovered by someone new.

        I long to taste the shocking effect that follows the uncovering of a new opinion that is in complete opposition to mine.

       And as strange as it may sound, I also miss the dilemma moments when our differences get ahold of us and we are challenged to either accept or decline the other person as a whole imperfect package whilst we haven`t crossed the point of no-return -yet.

      The thing about me that you should know is that I never get bored of people, I either like you or not.

      And that`s because I believe that a person is a whole universe in its entirety

with the turning seasons of choices, the changing weather of moods,

the constellations of ideas, the black holes of insecurities,

the galaxies of fears and fantasies, the planets of values

and all that other challenging infinity that can never be contained nor bored of.

(By Man What The Heck.)

         All that points out that there`s always room for marvellous discoveries and surprising moments even after 10 years of intimacy.

      But only if we always keep a sense of wonder and constant interest in the other person, accompanied with a regular proof of care and love. #relationship_tips_ladies_and_gentlemen.

     The second thing you need to know about me is that my social circle has never been smaller and, more importantly, it`s never been more anchored nor more filled with tolerance and harmonized vibes.

     And hence, it didn`t take a one-night sleepover or an ice skating evening to build, but rather years of universes` exploration, months of choices making, weeks of detoxifying and long nights of existential conversations.

      So it`s quite understandable that I turned into a mommy chicken protecting this little warm nest of mine and trembling with fear every time I sense a threat nearby.

And one of those threats being….yup… strangeness….meeting new people.

     It`s not that I fear I would neglect my old friends for the new ones, watch your thoughts, I`m pretty faithful.


      But it`s more about the familiarity and warmth I`m getting so accommodated to, I`m worried about the probable lack of it and I can`t stand the idea of having to explain myself and my history from its roots once again, I dread the fear of being rejected.

        I dread going on an effortful hike towards the top then realize that it wasn`t worth it in the first place.

You see?!

      Now, if we`re completely rational, all those things I fear can happen even with people I`ve known since forever, just with narrower possibilities and on different scales of damage.


    With all that said, I still find the idea of going on a journey with someone new appealing, despite it being shadowed with a little fear, so I think I`m just gonna strike up a conversation next time I meet someone.... preferably interesting.

    I would do it even if only to spare you such a controversial, introspected post.

But I warned you anyway x.

Grow Gracefully Daisies *.*