Randomly Kawtar

 With an emphasis on emotions, mental health, the beauty of nature and the little habits that make a life, RandomlyKawtar captures in words and photographs what it is to live, to grow, to believe and to love.

Let`s end it on a good note!!

       This is the last post of 2015  and I have exciting projects for January and I just had a hectic week full of socializing and messiness and I`m used to a very stable and independant routine.

    I loved this week, honestly, but I`m even more delighted to be back to the familiarity of my room, the warmth of my cup of tea and the cosiness of my notebooks and regular reads.

 Briefly, I`m relieved to be back to the bubble I`ve built around me this year, a bubble I call  `The self-workshop` which I consider as intimacy or independance, but it is the same bubble that was viewed as coldness, ignorance and selfishness from those who were looking at it from the outside.

   Hum... However, I learned A LOT in my bubble: discovered a lot about myself (e.g. I LOVE THE SUN and deep conversation, like I could beg for deep conversations !!) I had a lot of firsts ( yoga, painting, baking, new information...) and I was finally able to have authentic opinions about big life topics (art, sterotypes, love...) , and with every achievement, every lesson, every reflection I felt the bubble stretching around me, getting larger and I got so addicted to this fullfilling progress that I blocked out everything else (e.g. : social life and outter connections) and yes I admit that was a bit unbalanced and sometimes lonely  if I`m honest. 

     Hum Hum... so yes, you can consider this my apology, apology for the unanswered phone calls, the lack of participation,  the long un-social retirements, it was all me , none of it you.

       And just in case you haven`t guessed it yet, getting more social and having deeper connections is at the top of my 2016 resolutions list.

      To be honest, looking back at it, I`m quite satisfied of 2015, of course day by day, month by month it wasn`t perfect but it has a pretty stable and peaceful aura around it considering the things that have added or changed in my garden of life, such as:

-Consciousness: I`ve never been this conscious of my feelings and needs before, which has definitely put me in a stronger position to control and guide those feelings instead of the other way aound.

-I`ve also cultivated a lot of empathy and understanding toward humans in general considering that everyone has their own story, their own struggles and our ignorance of it gives us no right to judge or criticize.

-I cut off a hell lot toxic habits, relations, sterotypes and brainwashing  which drove me to a rousing state of freedom & authenticity that I`m thriving on.


    Before any of these beautiful seedings grew in me, I`ve encountered a lot of failures, disappointments and burn outs which, putting them in perspective now, were indeed the seeds of the entirety of the 2015 garden and I`m so grateful.

   Now most of the things I`ve done this year weren`t on my list and that`s the beauty of life, it surprises us, challenges us and teaches us that we cannot plan out excactly how our future will roll out, but amongst the many lessons I`ve learned this year is that despite our inability to control what happens, we have total control over our choice of what comes next: will we give up after failure or will we look for plan B.

Briefly we do have control over how we react to life and this reaction depends on what we feed our souls on a daily level, is it negativity and dogmas or is it knowledge, positivity and being true to ourselves.

      As I said at the beginning I have plans and projects for 2016: grow plants, improve the blog, feel more, learn web designing, get more mastery of self, be less indulgent with food habits, be more flexible mentally  (physically will be good too), charity work, make short videos, watch more documentaries ( Human got me bad), get more sun naps  (trust me it`s an antidepressant *.*) etc .... you can see that these are all goals that only need my personal commitement without relying much on outter sources, however  my ultimate goal again is  #progress:  that thrilling process of moving from point A to a point B that is higher, stronger, healthier, happier and more peaceful.

   And this year, with the lessons I`ve learned in mind,  I`m also choosing love, faith and knowledge as my ultimate companions on that road and of course I`m starting it with the mantra :

``Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.``
— - Charles R. Swindoll
      So here`s to new beginning, here`s to fresh starts, and may we all embark in the boat of 2016 on yet another journey of growth, healing, maturity and overall improvement.

One last time,



 Let me know what are your goals for 2016?


ReflectionsRandomly Kawtar