Randomly Kawtar

 With an emphasis on emotions, mental health, the beauty of nature and the little habits that make a life, RandomlyKawtar captures in words and photographs what it is to live, to grow, to believe and to love.

Letter To April : On Sticking to the Basics.

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Oh hello my friend, April,

          First and foremost, I apologise for being quiet during you, I don’t know what happened exactly but I would give you the excuse of finals and re-finding my voice after 3 months of utter despair and disorientation. 

        But other than my non-blogging, I performed pretty well throughout your days. I recaught on my stolen happiness, I regrouped my energy and motivation to be the person I want to be and God am I getting close to her it’s not even funny. 

In you, I also learned what are the patterns of my moods and energy levels and how to be flexible around them and make the most of the highs and lows instead of blaming my hormones for being such troublemakers. 

A quick example of this would be how on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays my energy is at its peak so I plan my hardest tasks in those days and keep it to a minimum during the remaining days. 

       I stopped feeling « late » on life lol! as its been an idea I’ve been obsessive about since January, but during you, I unblinded myself and finally was able to see the milestones I crossed in the past 3 years.

I didn’t even know how to outline an article 3 years ago, now people reach out to me asking me to review their writing or give them writing advice. I mean, what was I thinking, late? you’re only late if you’ve been dead, I’ve never been more alive that I’ve been the past 3 years hamdullah experimenting and living life and I just wish someone slapped me and screamed ON WHOSE WATCH ARE YOU LATE YOU LITTLE SLOTH? CAUSE ON YOUR WATCH YOU’RE JUST RIGHT ON TIME SO SHUT UP! 

It’s midnight. May 4th. May the 4th be with you. And I’m not gonna edit this letter. Eat it RAW! 

So I was saying….I didn’t get ill as much as I did in March hamdullah, I had great encounters with both my parents, I started reading way more and I no longer consider it an exhausting chore after a long reading block. 

No April, despite all of this, you weren’t perfect but compared to your previous fellows, you’re by far my favourite. I no longer feel like I’m suffocating under deep waters and I feel able to push away a bad thought as soon as its silhouette appears to me on the horizon of my mind.

And I’m positive that that’s mainly what kept me afloat as your weeks rolled by because it was either kill the mind or die … not literally but it was getting quite toxic for me and for everyone around.

In March I started getting my routine back one habit at a time and I failed and tried, failed and tried, in you, I kept trying so I failed less and I now entered May with a sustainably consistent routine hamdullah. Still not perfect, but it’s progress okay, it took me time but I got there.

         Bottom line really: you have 2 choices of loops to get into: 

- the one where you let your emotions be the boss and let them rise you to the top before slamming you to the floor once more, BLINDED by darkness and dizziness.

-the one where you fail and try BY CHOICE, not by slavery to your emotions. fail and try to workout until it becomes part of you, fail and try to read every day until you fin yourself reaching for a book in every spare time, fail and try, fail and try and stick to the basics! THE.BASICS…THEN and only then, move to the luxuries of the good life like waking up at 05 (I’m at 07:30 atm).

should I stop here or tell you my consumerism favourites? 

I’ll stop because I didn’t buy much besides some stuff I ordered online and hasn’t arrived yet —‘ 

Oh wait I got Tshirts, I LOVE TSHIRTS, these are from Kiabi *.*  

BASICS, April the dearest, you were all about the BASICS and I’m proud of you!

❤️ lol as in lots of love. 

Before you go, tell me what would you like to see this Ramadan on the blog?

Ask me anything you'd like me to answer or suggest articles you'd like to see. ANYTHING!