"Bathing": the time I felt a void -a poem

 

There's so much echo where I'm standing
Echoes from past successes
And echoes from future aspirings screaming
at me
But I've grown deaf to it all
Or rather numb
Does a bee ever feel void of the desire
To kiss flowers and make honey?
I feel like a bee
Whom wings have been plucked
Gently
How many wings does a bee have?
I don't know for I have stopped reading
Compulsively
And since,
I've been bathing in this void
Unable to beat to the rhythm of the world around
My beating heart
Have I failed catching up with the world
Or was it the world that failed to catch up
With my definitions of aliveness
Enthusiasm
Passion
It's absurd, I taste that
But don't you dare ask me
"what do you want?"
Cause I have a million answer to that
But none
None creates warmth between my ribs
And it's just been cold for so long
Void of desires for so long
Dare I say... lonely and unfathomable for so long
A look in the mirror and I'm bored
What is it I'm looking for?
The truth, I know that
But I, dare I say, am too scared and lonely to breathe it
The truth
The lack of integrity never suffocated me all this much
But I am alive still
Breathing still and hope is forever a flame that dances in the haunted background
to the chaotic noise my head makes
day in and day out
So worry not
I'm alive

Your Grace Is Beyond Compare *.*