The imperfectly perfect beauty of life and love.

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there’s a sense of unfamiliarity I started to feel when
I hear my name or my own laughter
as if I haven’t been alone with myself for a while
although that’s the only thing I’ve been doing lately.

And whether I want it or not, 
this is how my first year into adulthood was meant to be
spending long nights untangling my knots
So that by sunrise, my soul would be able to wiggle
Freely
And let itself dance to the symphonies of joy and passion
Instead of being too heavy and drained to move even a finger.


I did her wrong, my soul, when I expected her to thrive
Without listening to her need for fueling its reserves
Oh how needy she is, my soul,
Needing God, sweet company, sweeter fruits, and books
To set herself straight on the crookedness of life.


May she forgive me for this is my first try
My first life
My first time having a soul
And first times are deprived of perfection
Just like the sun and the moon and the stars are.


Cause in this life,
Beauty is only beautiful when looked at from a distance
And love
Love is only felt when we don’t forget the beauty as we move closer
To the core, to the realness of it as a whole.
So I won’t ask why or how much do you love me.


But rather how brave are you to remember my beauty
As I slowly uncover my knots to you?
And how willing are you to stick around when our complexities
Cease to fit into each other? 
How excited are you for all the movement our souls have engaged in
Since the day we gave birth to love between our planets?


Love, my love, is my sparkle in this imperfect mess
It is what keeps me wanting to see beauty as my nose is stuck in dirt
and actually seeing it.
And that alone is a blessing I shall spend my long nights thanking my God for.


kawtar amranipoems