What Does It Take To Connect Deeper (or how do you feel?)
Here`s the thing: shallow and pointless interactions make me sick. And I mean literally sick, I start feeling sleepy all the time, I lack the energy to do anything and start scanning the room for an escape and if I don`t find any, I become irritable. No kidding.
More dangerously is that most of the time I`m the one who starts that shallowness because you see I dread being looked at as a weird intrusive if I just ask: ''How are you feeling?'' So I just ask about the comfort of your life`s shell instead of knocking deeper.
So how do you feel my friend? That`s what I`m interested in.
Or maybe I`ll start with how I feel. It`ll put the first brick in the trust building so that maybe you`ll feel confident and fulfilled and trustworthy.
Trust is power kid.
Tell them why you cried last night, and ask them about what makes them smile.
Complain about the argument you had with your brother then ask what they would`ve done if they were in that situation.
Ask for their opinion on that existential issue that has been tormenting you lately.
Nobody`s life is perfect and equally,nobody`s expecting yours to be so let`s break the walls and let each other see the wounds and the scars and fall in love with each other`s flaws.
How do you feel?
Have a conversation with their souls not with the social figures they`re trying to put up or the expectations they`re trying to meet.
There will always be a list of people asking them that already. Don`t add up.
Don`t be like the rest of them darling.
Be of the few who invite themselves over people`s houses and help them cook dinner in 3 days pajamas.
Be so humble and so chill that they stop blushing in your presence, that their shoulders relax and they let you in the behind the scenes of their successes and failures.
Learn from the strong ones how they turn their vulnerabilities into powers and opportunities. And learn from the sensitive how they don`t let any emotion slip away, how they live to the fullest without hiding any feeling.
That`s how you connect deeper kid. If that`s your aim.
You teach them that they don`t have to do big things so that you can be their friend so that you can be proud of them and love them.
Of course, you don`t have to be everyone`s best friend but please don`t settle for shallow links where all you do is check whether they ate their medicine or not this morning or whether they got the job they applied for.
don`t settle for small talk.
Yes encourage them and congratulate them and understand their disappointment but don`t make them feel like you expect anything of them.
I`m an introvert, shallow links make me sick.
I`m rather thirsty for stories, for loud and unstoppable laughter under the moon, for a peaceful listening session to a heart beating like no one`s watching.
So please don`t just tell me about your plans like you`re reciting the news.
I want to see the life, the light in your eyes. I want to see the drive and the passion you will pursue those goals with.
Paint me those plans in such vivid colors that I get as excited and stoked about them as you are.
But please don`t hide your passion away in fear that I`ll take you for a kid or an over-dreamer.
And please, don`t just report to me that you didn`t get your dream job, don`t hide away your frustration in fear that I`ll judge you and consider you a failure.
Cry me tears so sour I get drunk to the taste of them and fall in love with how ambitious and alive you are.
Let`s build a strong and colorful edifice we will find home at, I long ago lost interest in making a collage of shallow images and small talk. I want to find home in our shared melancholy and ecstasy.
I promise I`ll try to do the same, doff off the social hat I mean.
And perhaps we`ll also find inspiration and energy to make the world less fake and more beautiful. Perhaps.