ABC...F: Freedom pt.1 ( meeting standards and PPH)
During my highschool years, the image above has served as my only perception of the word… freedom: going on a road trip with a dear friend whenever and wherever we feel like ... but in a physics class, wearing highschool uniform and lacking the permission, the money ( and the sass) to do so , I considered my life deprived from any sense of freedom.
Looking back at it two years later, this last statement sounds accurate, not because of my inability to ride by the Hollywood sign with the wind blowing my hair away, but on a different level.
If you happen to be a faithful reader, you must`ve grown tired of me mentionning the boredom and solitude I had to encounter since I gratuated highschool, I apologize about it but that period just happens to be the biggest changing point of awakening in my life.
So once again, during the last two years, I was challenged with some crucial and serious decisions that urged to be made, and that didn`t come without an increasing anxiety that emerged from my inability to meet everyone`s expectations of what my life should look like.
An anxiety that first turned into empty days of procrastination , then into an exihilirating journey of profound introspection, authentic discovery of passions, evolving knowledge and faith strenghtning… and all this led to a poignant curiosity about society`s mold of values, stereotypes, standards and expectations, a mold that I grantedly let myself be shaped by during the first 17 years of my life.
So I took a step back and a flow of questionning went through my mind, things like:
why are we supposed to find and follow only one path, one career for the rest of our lives,
why do I consider myself impolite for constantly needing some alone time when in big gatherings,
why do we define a person`s worth by their social status, apparences and salary…
why do we define love by only the first years of passion and romance:
As these questions kept on boiling in my head, I started feeling more and more relief and ease when it came to making decisions as I finally came to the two big convictions that set me free:
1.It`s easy to follow conventional beliefs that society has built from bricks of conformism, felt the gaps with ciment of irrationality then locked us up in a maze of stereotypes and dogmas, and it disguised it all under the name of safety and civilisation... but with a reservoir of faith and a library of knowledge we can see how fake, narrow and irratioanl that conformism is.
2. Pleasing everyone can seem tempting but spoiler alert: WE CAN`T… because humans have different visions of life, different tastes and backgrounds, so the mere attempt to meet all those different excpectations will freeze your brain as it tries to operate a system according to all those different tastes... briefly it will paralyze you and you`ll end up doing nothing, being nothing.
Because somewhere in a mediterranean beach last summer, with a messy outfit and an irrestistible urge to give those beautiful waves a photoshoot, I picked my camera and, for the first time, I couldn`t care less about looking from afar like a mad girl laughing by herself and jumping with a camera on her hand everytime a wave approaches.
In that moment, and many others that followed, I knew that by kicking off my people pleasing habit, by filtering the beliefs that come and go into my mind and by not being ashamed of who I am, I knew that I had reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom.
On a last note: society and pretty perfect commercials are not to blame for your brainwashing, they`re just doing their job and your job my friend is to have an aware brain that prevents you from wearing blinkers that will narrow both your vision of life and definitions of big topics.
So kid, meet no one`s excpectations of you, because nobody`s walking in your shoes AND know that most of the people who criticise your worth are just afraid or jealous so by being yourself, you never know who could be inspired by your bravery & freedom.
And one thing that helps me face people`s critics or unacceptance of my being is a sassy attitude and a little voice that whispers to me: ``I know my worth, so there`s no point in being offended by their ignorant opinions``.
PPH: people pleasing habit.
Grow Gracefully Daisies *.*