Recollecting Myself | a guide.
Meet me where the sun ray ☀️ meets the tree leaf 🍁
Where tragedy meets hope
Where dry sand meets wet sand
and where illness meets one second of pure painlessness
Some people call it the edge,
I call it Home
I always go there after I have lost myself to the abyss of faked socialising and of the witnessing of exhausted (and/OR fairy) souls.
I go there to recollect myself…
or what’s left of it
I go there when all I can think of are the things that are going wrong in my life
I go Home to repent from the sin of comparing my rustic to someone else’s gold, white teeth and trophies 🏆
Repent being the ultimate cure to guilt
But does one ever feel guilty for wanting to go Home 🏡 ?
For wanting to be themselves,
their best selves even if it’s at the expense of running from where they are most needed?
Let me go home, I beg.
I’ll count my blessings and the fingers of my body won’t be enough to do so
I’ll count my achievements and I’ll barely fold the fingers of one hand to do so.
But I’ll be proud anyway…or I’ll fake it
I’ll forgive myself…or I’ll fake it
I’ll set higher standards and meet them
I’ll open a new book, stare at its blank page and finish it
It will be midnight and I’ll be staring at the mirror
Wondering what made me go astray
And praying gratefully that I found my way back
All the way back …Home
Where the dry sand meets the wet sand
Where I take endless cleansing walks
next to a shadow that keeps getting larger than life
as the sun ☀️ dances in orbit around my face
Causing my eyes 👀 to squeeze in delight.