Self-Reminder : Everything you were taught about Beauty is ... Wrong!!
Nour is a 20 years old young lady , she wakes up in the morning , walks to the bathroom and
"Holy crap, what a mess I am!! ", she brushes the thought off her mind, washes her face and as she's about to walk away, she takes another look at the mirror , gets closer , zooming in the new spot that showed up last night , the mess that her hair is being ...here she goes , the torture starts :
"why can't my hair shine like in a Pantene ad? It's not fair how Gigi Hadid has longer legs , I mean look at mine, could we even call them legs , ugh?!! and look at that chubby stomach, yesterday's cupcake was pretty delicious , I mean heaven delcious , but if I just stick to that damn unsalted raw salad forever, I would look more beautiful right now ...I need to fix this"
... and with that Nour leaves the house forgetting to look at her inside in the mirror of the soul nor did she try to respect herself, fix her mistakes or improve her life performances.
Ladies and gentleman , raise your hands if you could relate to Nour, I do and yeah I can see your hands up in the air too.
And nope, it's needless to be ashamed, we're all kids raised by pretty perfect TV commercials, retouched magazine pictures, admired models, social media's competitive sense, ignorant society who spoils the white, skinny, blonde guy with blue eyes more than the well ... average one.
I feel you , been there , done that.
In the good news department, change is happening, the standards of beauty are being banned: some magazines are doing us a favor of not photoshopping their pictures, clothing labels are launching the curvy and the petite sections, celebrities are posting their no-make up morning face selfies, singers are writing about self-image ... we're getting there, we're getting real.
However , despite all of these changes the world is making in the" beauty industry", if you don't set your mind on accepting the reflection you see in the mirror then even if Karlie Kloss tells you you're beautiful you won't believe it and you will keep on seeking for ways to look beautiful even if the way to it doesn't feel beautiful .
So let me tell you something, just like Nour, I used to thrive on compliments about my outer look, be it my outfit, my hair, my cheeks or whatever (cheeks!! seriously ? )...they used to make my days and weeks and all I'd wait for is for someone to notice my new cool t-shirt, ugh ...
.... Up until a close friend of mine wrote me a letter which had NOTHING to do with how I looked from the outside, but indeed she overwhelmed me with compliments on moral values she found beautiful in me ... yeah, when modesty strikes ... no trust me , I gave myself hard time trying to believe everything she said for I never saw myself like that ... the point is , the letter made me cry and made me feel very blessed, grateful, fulfilled and most importantly feel beautiful like no other compliments on my outer look ever made me feel.
Before I carry on , I just wanna take a moment to say that I'm feeling very good right now , it's 8 o'clock in the morning, the sunshine is filling up my room and I'm happy to be writing this eventhough I haven't had a good night sleep .
Back to my letter , I just found it beautiful that my friend took the time to look inside my eyes, not just at them, and she managed to find beauty in the mess my soul is being and she let me know about it, making me decide that it's this kind of compliments I wanna be thriving on.
I decided that I don't want someone to fall only for my beautiful smile , an unforseen life depression may take it away and I'll remain unloved and let down.
I don't want someone to fall only for my silky hair , a disease may make both, their love and my hair's shininess fade away .
I don't want someone to fall only for my soft, young-looking skin , aging will put some wrinkles on it and I'll have to deal with it on my own . :(
Indeed I want someone to look at my soul through my eyes, not just at them, and decide:" you're my type of beautiful , inside and out ."
In case I'm not their kind , I wouldn't be offended because I believe that beauty is relative , sure I may feel a little bad about it, especially if they're my type of beautiful , but never would I ever try to change who I am to please someone or meet someone's standard of beauty , weither inside or out .
For example , I love this car (Citroen 2CV) but I wouldn't hate you if you hate it because I cannot see it with your eyes and vice versa . You got it ? beauty is relative. Bye.
That's real beauty : being comfortable in your own skin, weither you're an Albino or a black person, curvy or too skinny , a quiet introvert or a talkative extrovert, with a thigh gap or without, weither you like ice cream or not ...
Beauty is setting your own standards of physical beauty.
Beauty is feeling beautiful and sassy when you look at the mirror , weither you just woke up in the morning or you're wearing a fancy designer dress or suit.
Yeah , yeah I know that our self esteem goes a little higher when we're dressed up to the nines, totally normal and there's nothing wrong with taking care of how you look , it's actually a sign that you're beautiful inside so you rspect yourself.
"You look good girl you did good don't ya..."
Beauty is also accepting who you are, no matter how different you can be, and from that working to be the better version of it , not better than anybody else , that's pointless 'cause The best gift you can give to people who love you is being authentic.
Beauty is remembering to check the mirror of the soul as well, wich is your behaviors, your decisions, your positivity and your awarness of what you want from life and how to get there.
Beauty is choosing to sometimes put others above your own need and help them out.
Briefly, beauty is waay more than a smiling face or an on-fleek outfit.
Ladies and gentleman , it's the 21st century , and with all the technology and inovation in all life areas , it's a shame that we're still being brainwashed in such a personal , relative topic , so it's big time for the 170 metres to stop being the perfect height , it's time for size 36 to stop being the perfect size and everything else just, it's ...not right ,
as long as you're feeling healthy, as long as you are beautiful according to your standards , as long as you're using your inner potential to have a beautiful soul and a beautiful mind , then there's no right or wrong way to be beautiful.
Briefly, I think all this chatting can be summed up in the question :
" If the world was blind, how many people would you impress?"
Now , what I want you to do is the following :
- Work on having a beautiful soul , not just a beautiful body , because honey you won't always be young and beautiful soyou'd better make people fall in love for your permanent soul rather than your ephemerial tight skin that will loosen up once you're pregnant , ill or old. :sorry:
- Unapologetically be yourself. Don't wait for others to like you before liking and accepting yourself and accept every compliment people give you.
- If you ever happen to be in a position of a parent , older sibling , teacher or whatever it is that you have a connection with children , please, don't ever miss an opportunity to initate them to beauty as something more absurd than it is concrete ... for instance , if you notice a sense of ambition, generosity, perseverence or any other form of positive moral values, let them know how you think that that is such a beautiful quality they have ... focus on the inner thing more. Let's not let them live the same mistake of linking beauty to materialistic things only.