How to make the most of a `bad time` .
The last time I had a really bad time was two months ago and it lasted a month so technically it ended a mont ago …. hum , okay. You got it.
But we all have them, bad times, right?
The reasons may differ, the length, the symptoms, the seriousness too , all this can differ from one another, but we certainly all face that period of time where we suddenly feel stuck , unable to carry on our routines and putting to test every aspect of our lifes so far. Yup been there, done that .
But the thing that is the most different between all of us is how we deal with bad times. Some find comfort in crying their heart out, others prefer to talk or write about it , workaholics just let the work suck it all up, and the list goes on…
I`ve never been sure what was my way, but the last time i felt stuck I`ve noticed that I handled it in a different way, in a more conscious and mindful kind of way so i thought to share that with you now that i m feeling quite well. :)
1) Don`t fight back.
The man himself said it:`If you`re going through hell , keep going .`
Meaning: resist the urge to quickly find a way out and instead just ... be there for yourself, listen carefully to your feelings and diagnose them: what is it that you`re feeling? frustration, boredom, disappointment, anger, loneliness... what is it ? Don`t fight back , just stay still and listen.Maybe seek some help either by writing or talking about it to someone you trust .
This was a quite hard excercise for a person like me who is obssessed with fixing things and changing them. But I did it , i`ve been there by myself and gave in for a while. I remembered how Michael Scofield from Prison Break didn`t make that successful attempt to run from jail until he knew by heart the place he was at and the struggles he had to encounter. :p
2) Just . Freaking. Say. Yes.
I already wrote a whole post about this , but i`m here again to emphasize again the importance of getting out of comfort zone and hugging the beauty of the world with both arms.-when the poet in me shows up, ugh please- No really , after localising your feelings and knowing where you are , it`s time to break free , go out of your familiar rabbit hole and inhale some fresh , new & unusual air a.k.a. excperiences .
It can be a big thing like saying yes to a trip with friends ;) to something completely simple like reading an Agatha Christie after reading all Nicholas Sparks books , if you know what I mean .
For me it was that amazing visit to the Marina with my mom , that magical swim in cold weather and that visit to an old, ill & distant family member ... I know that it may sound stupid , but I hesitated hard before saying yes , wondering if they`ll be worth trading my depressive -yet comfy routine for them.
Trust me they were , even the visit to the dying lady , saying yes gave me so much life , energy and answers to find a succesful way out .
3) Find what feels good.
The first step allowed you to know yourself and take awarness of what caused the fall in the hole.
The second one allowed you to expand your mind and gave you both enthusiasm and new clues to get back on track , it also gave you ephemerial pleasure and well being .
In the third step you gotta combine all that together and find a personal & sustainable way to make things work and there`s unfortunately no magic formula for that because we`re all different, so there`s no right or wrong way to pick yourself up as long as it`s yours.
Personally , the big issue I had was how to be my own boss , a succesful one . I`ve always been stubborn to the idea that the only way to have a productive day is to write and religiously follow a 8 to 11 plan wich comprehends when and what to take for breakfast to how much time I`ll spend painting or socializing ...
And I always hated myself for failing at it over again and again . But after getting to know myself and accepting it I realized that that just . doesn`t. work . for me . It may work for other people but not me.
So I dropped it , found my own wild, messy way to be productive and I`m happy about it.
Get to know yourself , find what works for you and with that plan a way out .
And again it can go from changing your daily habits to making big changes like moving house or changing your career as it can also be simply getting back to your routine and change NOTHING : maybe that bad time was just your body`s and mind`s way to tell you that you need to slow down and take a break .
Find what feels good and be okay with that.